You know Heartland couldn’t wait too long after our payment obfuscation series relaunch to try their luck on some minors.
Courtesy of a Payment Authorities audit, it looks like this time Heartland is being relatively tame.
It’s still theft as far as we’re concerned, but instead of going full pineapple into home base, Heartland’s stopping at third.
Heartland decided to slip in a $129 per store “annual reporting fee”.
Why?
Well obviously for all the rigorous reporting to “government and payment industry entities”.
ORLY?
Who are you reporting anything into that isn’t getting everything they need in the automated settlement data?
What could you possible be reporting that’s outside of the data they’re automatically collecting in regards to any processing?
This seems to us like it fell right off Jeff Sloan’s wheel of fake fees.
But just think of all the value being created by Heartland.
It’s not as if Heartland is making more money doing nothing as inflation goes up.
Oh, wait…