We were recently forwarded this news bit:
We asked they merchant and they told us that they noticed a reconciliation issue on Shift4’s Skytab POS.
They dug a bit deeper.
It had been happening for a year and they didn’t catch it earlier.
Then the owner found out that 9 other, local restaurants on Shift4 had the same issues.
Uh oh.
The good news?
Shift4 merchants can expect a new fee to cover whatever cost Shift4 will incur to fix this issue.
And if the cost is zero?
Bend over for a fee anyway.
Cuz, you know, payments.
Shift4 lackey: Oh man, our negligible spending on R&D finally caught up to us…
Shift4 management: Yea, was really hoping it would take these morons longer than a year to figure it out. Damn.
Shift4 lackey: Now what?
Shift4 management: Well I’ll tell you what we’re not going to do: spend money fixing the problem.
Shift4 lackey: Well duh; that was the first thing we learned in company training: “Never fix a customer problem.”
Shift4 management: Good, you remember your training. In that case, what do we do next?
Shift4 lackey: “Never miss an opportunity to increase rates and add fees”
Shift4 management: Precisely. So what we’ll do is use the opportunity to tell these merchants how “valued” they are and how things might have gone wrong because we weren’t making enough money on our one-sided agreements. This will give us the opportunity to add some more fees. And if anyone squeals, we’ll just say, “Well, what did you expect your POS to do for a year? Actually work?”
Shift4 lackey: Oh man, I want to pick the fee this time!
Shift4 management: Sorry junior. You haven’t even bankrupted a neighborhood yet. This is best left to the big boys.
In true payment bro fashion, never let a crisis go to waste.
The hilarity of this Shift4 cycle can’t be overstated. Look at this beautiful diagram of ineptitude.
We’ve reaffirmed what could only be described as verbal inducement from dozens of merchant conversations.
Of course there’s never any vestige of Shift4’s inducement in writing.
But even if there were, Shift4’s agreements would hold them harmless.
We bet this is all part of the Shift4 training.
Simply amazing.
Add comment